The Happiness Study: Lessons from Lives Well-Lived

Jul 22, 2025 | Mental Health, Patient News

“Happiness is like a butterfly, the more you chase it, the more it will evade you, but if you notice the other things around you, it will gently come and sit on your shoulder.”

– Henry David Thoreau

What is the key to happiness…wealth, fame, professional achievements, influence? According to the Harvard Study of Adult Development, the world’s longest running scientific examination of happiness, it’s actually your connections with other people. More specifically, the warmth of those relationships is vital to both your long-term health and happiness.

The intersection of mind and body has been recognized for some time, but what shocked study director Robert Waldinger, MD, professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School and psychiatrist at Massachusetts General Hospital, was the critical impact of the human connection. “We found that good relationships were the biggest predictor of healthy longevity, literally changing our physiology and decreasing risk of type 2 diabetes, arthritis, coronary disease, and other conditions associated with aging,” he says. The study began with a group of Harvard College undergraduates and boys from Boston’s poorest neighborhoods in 1938, and has expanded to include more than 2,500 people, including families of the original participants. Over time, other studies further illuminated how relationships shape health, says Dr. Waldinger, and have inspired current collaborations with researchers ranging from the Boston Veterans Administration to the University of Malmo in Sweden.

Still, the ‘why’ may be less understood than the ‘how.’ One hypothesis focuses on the stress-relieving nature of good relationships. “When something annoying or upsetting happens, your body goes into fight or flight mode (heart rate rises, breathing gets faster, etc.) to meet the challenge,” explains Dr. Waldinger. “Sharing your frustrations with a sympathetic person allows you to return to equilibrium, your body literally calms down. People who have a lack of connection or really acrimonious relationships don’t have that same stress regulation mechanism in their lives.”

Another area of study is what Dr. Waldinger whimsically refers to as the Tigger or Eeyore factor. “We all know Tiggers, who are almost always cheerful no matter what’s happening, and Eeyores who are down even when things are going well,” he says. “Other research has pointed to a happiness setpoint that is 50% genetically determined, 10% environmentally influenced, and 40% by intentional activity. We want to continue exploring ways to move the setpoint.”

Taking steps to improve the meaningful relationships in our lives may seem obvious but requires an ongoing and active commitment, says Dr. Waldinger. “It’s easy to take our relationships for granted – they become like the air we breathe – but people with the strongest connections reached out regularly and were intentional about making time for those people. It’s kind of a superpower they have that flies under the radar but is enormously important to enhanced well-being.”

Dr. Waldinger acknowledged the cultural assumptions surrounding the pursuit of happiness. “We’re all given the sense that if we just do the right things, earn all the quantifiable badges of achievement, we’ll be happy,” he said. “And when that doesn’t happen, many find themselves asking ‘is that all there is?’”
His sage advice: “Invest in relationships, connections and the things you find meaningful. You still may not be happy all the time, but happiness is likely to find you more often.”

The Quick Connection Exercise

Recognizing that many people feel they’re too busy or weighed down by obligations to take time for nurturing their connections, Dr. Waldinger suggests a simple exercise that makes a powerful point. “Making connections doesn’t have to be a heavy lift,” he says.

Here’s how you can improve a valued relationship in just three steps:

1. Take out your phone.
2. Think of somebody you haven’t seen in some time or that you’d like to connect with more.
3. Send that person a text or email, saying, “Hi, I was just thinking about you, and I wanted to connect.”

“Find ways to do this every day and realize you may not hit a home run every time. But you will stay more current with more people in your life and build a bedrock of social well-being,” he assures.

The Gratitude Attitude

Nov 20, 2024 | Mental Health, Patient News

If your parents repeatedly exhorted you to count your blessings, it may well prove to be one of the best pieces of medical advice they shared. In this season of giving and thankfulness, we share a brief synopsis of how gratitude – defined as appreciation of what is valuable and meaningful to oneself – is associated with a host of beneficial health effects.

Mental Health

A grateful outlook may contribute to lower rates of depression, stress and anxiety, greater emotional functioning, stronger social relationships, higher life satisfaction, and help reduce the impact of stress on negative health outcomes.

Physical Health

Studies suggest that an attitude of gratitude may help lower blood pressure and glucose, improve immune function, promote more efficient sleep, boost pain tolerance, and lead to better cardiovascular health. Specifically, research has pointed to how practicing gratitude may help decrease hemoglobin A1c levels and contribute to reducing biomarkers of inflammation. A recent observational Harvard study of more than 49,000 registered nurses found that those scoring in the highest level of gratitude had a 15% lower risk of death from cardiovascular disease. Other reports have found that grateful individuals tend to be more health-conscious, avoiding smoking and drinking alcohol. For instance, a recent experimental study showed that evoking feelings of gratitude in people who smoke reduced their urge to do so and increased the likelihood of their enrollment in smoking cessation programs.

The Gratitude and Health Connection

Taken together, research suggests that interventions targeted at increasing gratitude may be an effective resource for health promotion and maintenance. Or as Dr. Robert Emmons, a long-time leader in the field of gratitude research and professor emeritus of psychology at UC-Davis, more eloquently explains:

“Gratitude heals, energizes and changes lives. Studies have shown that gratitude is often deepened and strengthened in trying times, as they lead us to not take things for granted. Gratitude is not simply a switch that we turn on when life is going well, but also shines a light in the darkness.”

Interested in trying this out? Visit UC Berkley’s Thnx4.org site, which offers free 10- or 21-day group or solo journaling challenges.

Midlife Crisis or Midlife Reassessment?

Aug 19, 2024 | Mental Health, Patient News

Like so many popular 20^th century concepts, the image of a man in an existential crisis at age 50 who trades in his long-time wife and car for newer models is on the wane – and may never have been correct. Psychoanalyst Elliott Jaques coined the term in 1965 to describe his midlife client’s sudden change in lifestyle and productivity, but the breakthrough “Midlife Development in the U.S. (MIDUS)” studies conducted over three decades beginning in 1995, proved otherwise. Only an estimated 10% of adults actually experienced a midlife crisis while the majority considered it a period of great satisfaction, redefining it as a time of deepened connections and continuity, peak earning power, career advancement, and greater emotional intelligence. In fact, asserts study author Margie Lachman, PhD, adults reach the apex of their competence and expertise in middle age, with time to chart a healthy course for the future.

Midlife Challenges and Stressors

Still, midlife does pose its share of challenges in terms of concurrently balancing as many as eight roles, including spouse, parent, grandparent, adult child, sibling, friend, co-worker, and caregiver. Partially a result of an ongoing cultural shift encouraging openness around mental health, today’s midlife adults are more frequently diagnosed and seek help with issues such as depression and anxiety – from 31% in 2019 to 45% in 2023 among ages 35 to 44; and from 26% to 36% among ages 45 to 64, as reported in the American Psychological Association’s annual “Stress in America” survey.

Work is the primary stressor for many midlife patients of concierge psychologist Dr. Rebecca Osei. “Their self-worth is intertwined with career achievement,” she says. “If they haven’t yet reached the goals they set for themselves, there can be issues with depression and how to move forward from this point.”

High achievers face their own set of problems, according to psychiatrist Brook Choulet, MD, who works with CEOs and elite athletes contending with mental health concerns despite the outward appearance of great success. “I often start by asking how they would feel if I sent them on a two-week vacation right now,” she says. “Their answer can help reveal whether they’re headed toward burnout (removing the stress factor of work improves their mood) or struggling with clinical depression or an anxiety disorder.”

Strategies for High Achievers to Overcome Stress and Anxiety

Top performers are driven to constantly keep chasing the next goal, rather than taking the time to appreciate their achievements, says Choulet. “Many also have perfectionist tendencies, leading to stress and fear of failure if everything is not done flawlessly.” She helps them overcome their challenges with strategies that include:

• Establishing good boundaries between personal and professional life.
• Adopting a growth mindset focused on progress rather than perfection.
• Developing stress management and self-care techniques. “Prioritize your own mental health in order to lead effectively.”
• Taking a pulse on what brings you joy. “This is particularly important as you near retirement and can’t imagine life without work. Lean into your network of friends and family and learn how to step away and enjoy what you really love,” says Choulet.

A Welcome Change: Mental Health Issues Lose Their Stigma at Every Age

May 16, 2024 | Mental Health, Patient News

From unmentionable to oft discussed, American attitudes toward mental health have made a seismic shift over the years. It’s heartening to see recent polls showing 87% of U.S. adults agree having a mental health disorder is nothing to be ashamed of, and 86% saying people with mental health disorders can get better. Seeking help from a therapist has become normalized, due in part to an epidemic of mood disorders among Gen Z.

“It is this generation that may, in fact, finally break the stigma around mental health,” says Ken Ginsburg, MD, Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia, “freeing millions of Americans who have suffered terribly and silently to seek help.”

Mental healthcare has gradually worked into the mainstream, says concierge psychologist Dr. Rebecca Johnson Osei. “Just a generation ago, people were happy or angry and we didn’t label many feelings beyond that. Now there’s a lot of positive talk about therapy on tv and in films, which begets more conversations. The language in children’s literature has also changed to teach about feelings, so youngsters will be great stewards of this approach when they’re adults.”

Osei says some are beginning to view therapy as an opportunity to become better versions of themselves. “It’s gratifying to work with young couples who want to be in a good place emotionally before they get married, and people looking to address issues from their own childhood before they have children.”

Does that pave the way for annual mental health checkups? “The sooner you identify a problem, the easier it is to manage,” says Osei. “We can’t prevent everything, but we can listen to our minds the same way we listen to our bodies and seek help at the first sign of troubling symptoms.”

Mental Health in Children

May 16, 2024 | Mental Health, Patient News

Age of Innocence – Or Anxiety for Today’s Kids?

From loud claps of thunder to dogs that can bite, a child’s world is filled with new, sometimes scary experiences. However, if fears can’t be managed with reassurance or distraction and persistently interfere with daily activities, your child may have an anxiety disorder. These most common childhood mental health disorders are now regularly screened for in children ages 8-18, and include:

• Generalized anxiety disorder: excessive worry about everything that’s happening in their world; focus on failures rather than successes.
• Social anxiety disorder: intense fear of doing or saying the wrong thing; shy, withdrawn, self-conscious; avoids social and performance situations.
• Panic disorder: suffers from unexpected panic attacks, described as “going crazy” with severe feelings such as “I feel like I’m going to die.”
• Separation anxiety disorder: worries about something bad happening when not with caregivers, difficulty sleeping on own, excessive homesickness; may avoid playdates, sleepovers.
• Specific phobias: intense, irrational fear of a specific object or a situation such as animals, storms, heights, water, blood, the dark, and medical procedures.
• Selective mutism: inability to talk when faced with new people or places, but have no trouble speaking in situations where they feel comfortable.

Symptoms of Anxiety in Children

Anxiety in children manifests in numerous ways: crying, tantrums, clinging, headaches, stomach aches, shortness of breath, sleep problems, under- or overeating, and poor school performance.

Treatment of Anxiety in Children

Exposure and response prevention (ERP) therapy – exposing children to the things that trigger their anxiety in structured, incremental steps and teaching them how to master their fear – has proven very effective. When appropriate, ERP therapy can be combined with anti-anxiety medications (SSRIs).

Fear Factor: Helping Children Understand and Manage Their Fears

The frequently experienced fears shown below can often be managed with education, exploration through play, and “bibliotherapy,” the use of reading aloud to children to address their worries. In a pilot study of a four-week bibliotherapy intervention for young children with persistent and interfering nighttime fears, clinically significant change in anxiety severity was reported. Additionally, increases in the number of nights children slept in their own bed, and decreases in child-reported nighttime fears were observed.

Try it: Magination Press, the children’s book imprint of the American Psychological Association, offers a large selection of literature designed to help families navigate life’s challenges. For example, in Booma Booma Boom, a boy guides his stuffed animals through a thunderstorm using sensory-based mindfulness to ease fear, find quiet, and understand that storms also bring good things, such as calming rain and water for plants.

Adapted from: UptoDate Overview of Fears and Phobias in Children and Adolescents
Sources: Child Mind Institute, CDC, Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA), UptoDate